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, Founder and CEO of and a nationally recognized expery on eldercare andfamily "Helping your Dad safely age at home can be the best gift -- and the best Father'sw Day gift -- you can give him, once you noticr even small changes in his ability to get around." "Remember Men are from Mars? Men do not often expresds their feelings freely or at all. So if your fathedr is living alone, it will be harder for you to know how heis doing, Dr. Tobin says. "The hardestg part may be getting your Dad to open up aboutt practical andemotional issues. " Dr. Tobin advises: "Go slow and steady. Approacu one issue at a Fathers may want to appeae asif they're always in even when things have begumn to slip.
Let your Dad know that you are there to help withour getting inhis space. In order to assessz how he's doing living on his own, here is a checklisf of issues for you to explorrewith him. Then, if there are problems, you can addresse them, and find your father the help he'll need to stay independent." "The most important indicators for wellness in aging are staying physically active and staying connectesd to others or toa community. Does your Dad appeard to be slowing down? Is he less mobile? Is he interacting with his neighbors, or participating in senior-activit programs? We tend to look away from physicapl changes that are important in supportinghour Dads.
" "When you visit your father at his home, look arounde and get a quick reading on whethee he could use help with home repairs or housecleaning. Remembetr to think about preventing which cause serious problems as yourDad ages." "Is your fathere eating properly? What's in his refrigerator?" "Is your Dad's strength or mobility reduced in any way? Would he benefirt from, or even enjoy using, any adaptive devicexs from low tech to high, such as kitchen utensil s or tools with bigger grips, or a webcam or an e-maill device for seniors?" "Driving may be one of the most difficult issues to discuss. Men almosrt always resist the need tostop driving.
Your Dad' driving skills need to be re-assessed in lighg of vision, responsiveness, hearing, and nighg vision. If his driving is restricted, be willingf to compromise -- maybe drivinbg only in the daytime or infamiliad places. You can also help in settinh him up with alternativetransportation services." "If your Dad has not discussed family financews with you before, be aware that financesw can be one of the most personalo parts of family You can start by finding out if your Dad'es personal finances are in order -- bills, mortgage, credit cards, taxes, etc. Does he have enough monety for extras? If his budget is stretched, you can try to find free servicee inhis community.
If possible, you can also offer to pay for servicea such as home health home repairs, cleaning services, transportation, and entertainment." "Often an individualized family plan goes a long way to show your Dad that the entirwe family is mobilized around giving him the gift he really, reallyh wants for Father's Day -- independence and support, " Dr. Tobin says. Family care like Care Supportof America, can help, particularlyh if you're in a distant city.
They can professionallty organize a problem list and assess anypressinyg issues, including home safety, locating credible home services, understandin g the basic finances of wellneses in aging, and how best for families to supportf their father's independence. About Dr. , MD, is Founded and CEO of a national familuy caremanager service. He is an adjuncf assistant professor ofpsychiatry (health psychology) at Dartmouth Medical School and the author of books and articles on eldercares issues and positive solutions to family caregivintg problems.
Care Support of America ( ) is an independen t family care manager service that helps identify and solv family caregiving problems to provide trusted guidance as yourparentxs age. The service begins with a personal famil y care manager onthe phone, working with a localo nurse, to locate and mobilize trusted home care resources in the parent'es community; help you understand theit doctor's treatment plans and information; help insure that parents remain independent in their home; and answedr questions about Medicare, long-term and basic finances. Care Support of America has providedr family care manager services in 32 If you would like to speawith Dr.
, please contact , , or of at 212-588-8789 or . Available Topic Expert(s): For information on the listeed expert, click appropriate link. , MD
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